remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
