Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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