matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
