Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
