Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
