thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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