i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How external is "for external use only"?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
