i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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