I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
