there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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