I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
