I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I supernannyed him into submission
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
