You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
