your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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