You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My penis needs a shock collar
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
