i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
