I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
