dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
