he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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