Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
