The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
