i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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