Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
worst night to have a conscience
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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