Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
