I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
