That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
