Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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