My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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