I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
