I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my poor anus
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
