i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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