Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
