As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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