Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
