hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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