I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My room smells like vodka and shame
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
