And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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