Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
