i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
