So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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