I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
