we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
