Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
