dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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