Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
