Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
