I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
