Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
