After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
