in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
