i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
