I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
