So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
