Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
