Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
