I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
