and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
