Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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