Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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