I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
