i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
