Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

so now she's a stripper

(1-281): View more from Texas

can't say i'm surprised

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(586): View more from Michigan

at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I checked into jail on foursquare

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(619): View more from California

His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?

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(214): View more from Texas

Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.

(601): View more from Mississippi

That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.

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