ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize