I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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