Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
