I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
