this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
