I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
