Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
