My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
