They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
