weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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