Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
