at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize