pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
