Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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