how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just want nice things and good sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize