Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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