I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
