Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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