Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
