how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
