yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
