i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
