don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
