hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
